Birth Trauma Awareness Week - it’s time to take notice — Alison Scott Hypnotherapy in Buckinghamshire and Online

This week is Birth Trauma Week set up by the Birth Trauma Association. (BTA). This is a subject close to my heart, having suffered birth trauma myself with my first born over 15 years ago.

The Stats

Raising awareness of the long-term effects of brith trauma is so important. Having a baby is seen as a natural part of life - a time of joy and new beginnings for families. But for 4-5% of women, the birth and pregnancy itself is so traumatic it results in full blown PTSD - with flashbacks, nightmares and intense anxiety, often lasting years. That’s 30,000 women a year in UK alone. Over and above that, about a third of women suffer some sort of ‘trauma’ linked to giving birth - that’s around 225,000 new mums in UK each year.

These figures are not the whole picture either as whole families are affected as well as the babies themselves who find themselves in the care of an often-ill-equipped mother to care for them. After all, most well new mums feel ill-equipped! Imagine having to look after a helpless baby if you are suffering from trauma, either psychological or physical. It’s a dangerous and distressing place to find yourself in.

How does it feel?

Research has revealed that mothers who experience difficult birth mostly suffer from feelings of abandonment, powerlessness and isolation. But there is so much more to it. There is also shock, disappointment, exhaustion, shame, pain and relationships in potential crisis. Women can find they are never the same again after birth trauma. The thoughts of having further babies can seem utterly impossible if the after-effects are not properly resolved. There are feelings of failure too due to the expectation that a new mother should simply be delighted with her new child.

Then there are the terrifying dices with death to deal with when you think it’s just all about new life. When a birth goes wrong, it can go very wrong very quickly. It is certainly the closest I have come to looking death in the face.

Physical Pain

Post-birth pain can be very serious, and many women suffer for years with inhibiting pain often resulting in them hating their own bodies. A recent client had not been able to touch her own stomach for a year, such was the intense pain she was experiencing. She had pretty much dissociated herself from her own body. She wouldn’t let anyone else touch her either. Fortunately, we overcame this with hypnotherapy, and she is now at one with her body again and the pain has subsided dramatically.

Emotional Pain

The emotional pain often goes much deeper. Guilt, anger, loss, grief, exhaustion and depression are so common after birth trauma. For me, I was totally numb. I felt almost nothing anything for a few months. ‘Oh, she’s just tired.‘ Well. Yes. I was tired. But the emotional fatigue post-trauma was something else. When I look back now, I was in shock. We had both nearly died and no one ever spoke to me about it. There was no emotional aftercare.

My Story

I had a premature baby boy suddenly late one New Year’s Eve after a very drawn-out emergency C-section. My baby was taken away immediately. The next morning was New Year’s Day and the hospital seemed to be ‘on holiday’. Not a doctor in sight. I asked the toast lady if my baby had survived the night. She didn’t know. I found out several hours later that he was still alive.

A day after the birth I was then told I had to attend a breast-feeding class. I found myself practicing feeding with a doll in a room full of mums and their healthy babies. I didn’t know if my baby was going to survive. And I could barely move. The nurse who visited me at home two weeks later checked my scars, ensured I was cleaning bottles properly and checked my baby thoroughly.

No-one ever asked how I was except for my actual wounds or took any time to check on my emotional health. I hear so many similar stories now from clients. I was lucky in that my mother was on hand throughout the ordeal and helped to look after my baby when he was finally allowed to come home ten days later. She stayed for over 3 months. I went home from hospital in a wheelchair without him and I’m not sure how would have coped had she not been there for me.

This is a too common experience. Make Birth Better did a study in 2019 that revealed 73% of women had never been asked about their birth experience. But why not?

The Knock-On Effect

A traumatic birth leaves its scars not just on the mother but the whole family - other children, grandparents and partners can be traumatised too. There is such a daunting sense of powerlessness, of not being involved in decisions and being left to pick up the pieces afterwards that can be very difficult to come to terms with. And all at a time that is supposed to be ‘happy’. Few people want to hear about the difficulties when there are booties to buy and cuddles to be had.

I felt I was treated by the medical staff in exactly the same carefree way as the other mums who had had ‘normal’ births. This seems to me to be such a strange approach. One woman is on cloud nine and takes her bundle straight home without issue, whereas thousands of women can’t walk for pain or think straight and sometimes have just looked death in the face.

No Cause for Complaint?

Not many families are in the mood to complain in the months that follow. I certainly never considered complaining. I was relieved we were both alive and grateful we had been saved. Years later I feel differently. The care for me was negligent though the care for my baby was excellent. The care for mothers today is often still negligent. A midwife friend tells me she is allotted just a few days of aftercare for each mother and baby. With the NHS in crisis, things are far from better for mothers more than 15 years ago.

Hope

There is hope for birth trauma victims. Many types of therapy exist that will provide much-needed support but is often only available to those who can afford it or have time to access it. The BTA and PANDAS are effective support organisations mothers can turn to. I turned to a hypnotherapist who helped me enormously - though many years later. The clients I have helped find such comfort in talking and gently working through the trauma and anxiety through the various techniques used in hypnotherapy.

What is happening with PTSD?

The challenge of PTSD resides in the brain. Memories are filed away in the hippocampus but if an experience is traumatic, the mind goes into fight or flight or freeze mode and the part of the brain associated with fear, the amygdala, switches on. This causes memories to become stuck in this primitive part of the brain rather than being safely filed away.

It also means that when something reminds a mother of her experience, the traumatic memories feel less like memories and more like the woman is still in imminent danger, triggering physical reactions like panic attacks, hypervigilance and flashbacks. This means there’s a kind of continual looping of the memory in the mind.

All about the Baby

Then there is the stigma and shame attached to trauma. Many women feel uncomfortable speaking openly about it for fear of being seen as a failure as a mother, or of seeming ungrateful for their baby. Pregnant women are often viewed as precious but once the baby is born, the focus tends to be on the baby. It takes a great deal of courage and energy to ask for help when courage and energy are both in short supply.

Where to get help

Women and their families are strongly encouraged to not suffer alone. A midwife or GP can access talking therapies on the NHS and there are organisations that can help. These are listed below.

Hypnotherapy

I am a Quest-trained cognitive hypnotherapist. This form of therapy encourages people to let go of fears and can be very effective in dealing with trauma. The techniques are designed to support the client to move past their trauma and can significantly reduce their pain and anxiety. The key for clients is to know that they can feel better and heal after birth trauma.

Testimonial

This is a recent testimonial from a client suffering with birth trauma:

‘Alison has completely changed my life. I am more confident, my pain has lessened and I am able to think about my birth trauma without getting upset. I am able to concentrate on what is important in my life and enjoy spending time with my beautiful family and friends. Thank you!’

Where to get further help

BTA - https://birthtraumaassociation.org.uk / support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk @BirthTrauma

PANDAS - https://pandasfoundation.org.uk/ - Most of the teams have first-hand experience with perinatal mental illness. Helpline number 0808 1961 776.

Make Birth Better - https://www.makebirthbetter.org

If urgent, call Samaritans on 116 123.

Contact me

Call me on 07989 535527 for a free 20-minute consultation.

Email - ali@alisonscotthypnotherapy.co.uk

Twitter – Alison Scott @AlisonS39

https://www.facebook.com/alisonscottcognitivehypnotherapy

LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/alison-scott-43100a13a

Quest practitioners: https://www.qchpa.com/therapist-finder